your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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