went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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