yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
