Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
