getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
