It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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