used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
