Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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