what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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