YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
someone threw a dead crab at me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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