I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
