wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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