im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
