I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
