Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize