Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize