I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just tell him i said nine months
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
