one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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