note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
