Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
