Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
