So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
