Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
