You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
