he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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