Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
