Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
