I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
