During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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