I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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