Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
