Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
