OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
