you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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