I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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