woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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