I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize