Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize