My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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