I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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