Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Congratulations! We have a period
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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