Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
