Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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