He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need to sanitize my soul.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
