I hate your face
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
50% drunk capacity currently
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize