So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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