Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
