he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
