a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
did i walk over a car last night?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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