With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He? As in you personified your dick?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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