i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
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Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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