Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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