It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
