i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
