The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
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There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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