I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
