also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
