the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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