Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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