No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
