Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
