I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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