i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
