i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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